Driving to School with Evan

E: Ice! Ice! No Ice! Mommy’s car! You turn on car! I drive your car! I want to be warm! Why beeping? Toy magazine? Toy magazine! What that Jeep doing there?
M: It’s not a Jeep, honey. It’s a Hummer.
E: Why people in it? Where are they going?
M: To school. Everyone on the road at this hour is going to work or to school.
E: Yellow! Why that light yellow!?!?
M: It’s a warning sign. Like “Warning! The light is about to turn red!”
E: What red mean?
M: You know what red means.
E: Stop! Green. What green mean? Green means go! (Giant sneeze) What’s that sound?
M: Um, it’s you. Sneezing. (Looks in rear view mirror to see impossibly long trails of snot coming from E’s nose.)
E: I have a snail trail!
M: Hold on, don’t touch anything! I’m getting a tissue for you. Here, wipe your nose.
E: I can’t! You do it!
M: You have to try, the light is green and I have to drive.
E: Okay mommy!
M: (Looks in rear view mirror to see all snot is gone, but the tissue has not been used.) What happened? Where did all of that snot go?
E: In my mouth!
M: Oh, Evan, yuck-o!
E: That’s so silly!
M: That’s not silly, it’s gross. Next time use the tissue, okay?
E: Okay mommy! That’s the YMCA! Why am I going to the YMCA? Who drop me off? Who pick me up? Make u-turn! Why this a u-turn, mommy?
M: Because it’s shaped like a U. Look – long straight line, turn at the bottom, long straight line.
E: Do it again!
M: If we do it again, we’ll be driving in circles.
E: Do it again!
M: Look! We’re at school!
E: (Attempting to unbuckle his car seat) I do it ALL BY MYSELF! I can’t do it! You help me!
M: Let’s do it together.
E: Lock the car! Flash the lights for me! (lights flash) That’s so silly! Where’s my cement mixer? I play on the playground! Miss Sandy! Let’s play with your Christmas toys! Bye mommy! You say bye-bye mommy!
M: Bye Evan! I love you!
E: Who pick me up?
M: Daddy will pick you up. Love you!
E: Love you too mommy!