Friday, November 19, 2010

We laugh. Only so we don’t cry….

I have had a week! In fact it should be Week or WEEK to do it justice. My dear husband has been out of town and my mother-in-law and now my mother (who henceforth will be referred to as Saint Judie and Saint Gail) have been here to help me. If it weren’t for them, I would likely be curled up in the fetal position sucking my thumb. (But, the night is still young, so let’s not count that out just yet.) I told someone the other day that if I were writing a book, I would not have written about half the things that happened this week for fear that the readers would view them as implausible. But, no, they are instead, my reality. So, I’m choosing to laugh, because if I didn’t I’m certain I would cry.

We moved our kids into the same room a few weeks ago. Overall, it is going well, but when one of them wakes up, they’re both up. On Wednesday, I heard Evan calling for me just as I finished my shower. His call sounded unusually frantic. When I asked him what had happened, he said that Lauren had a dirty diaper that had gotten all over her crib. So, I wrapped a towel around myself and went to see what had happened.

Sure enough something was all over Lauren, her sheets, and her crib. I quickly grabbed Lauren, but I realized that I didn’t have anything to lay her on. So, I took off my towel and laid Lauren on it. At this point, I am "sans clothes" and attempting to change the blowout diaper with Evan dancing around asking frantic questions. I soon realize that our issue has nothing to do with the diaper – Lauren has thrown up. At this realization, I start gagging and Evan starts jumping on his bed to get away from “that stinky smell”.

Saint Judie must have heard all of the commotion, so she came upstairs to help. She knocked on the door and entered. At this point, I was relieved to see that the reinforcements had arrived. But, my relief was short-lived, because I also realized that I was without clothes. The next few seconds went like this:

C: Hold on a sec – I don’t have any clothes on…

SJ: (looking at me – confused) What?

C: I’m naked – I don’t have any clothes on.

SJ: (still looking at me – confused) What?


SJ: No you don’t! Sorry!

She quickly shut the door, I retrieved the towel, and our relationship went to a new level that I think we would both rather ignore.

That morning was the beginning of our endurance race with a stomach bug. I am currently the last man standing, but I don’t think the odds are stacked in my favor.

This morning, Saint Judie came down with the bug and Evan kept saying his stomach was upset. At this point, I hadn’t connected the episode with Lauren to Saint Judie, and I thought Evan was just pretending to have an upset stomach so he could stay at home with Grandma. We had a terrible time getting out the door this morning and I may or may not have told my whining three year old son to “man up” as we were trying to get out the door this morning. (Not my finest parenting moment, but I’m just keepin’ it real.)

Anyway, my disappointment in myself was exacerbated when I received a call from his preschool at 9:30 this morning that he had thrown up twice at school. So, I went to get Evan and the rest of our day involved some details that I’ll leave out of this blog post. But, most of it went like this:

E: (in the bathroom tossing his cookies) You're supposed to say "Good job Evan!"

C: Good job Evan....

E: (in the bathroom tossing his cookies)

C: (rubbing E’s back)

E: Stop touching me!

C: Okay, I was just trying to help….

E: (in the bathroom tossing his cookies)

C: (NOT in the bathroom rubbing his back)

E: Where are you? Why aren’t you in here?!?! I need you!

C: Okay, I was just trying to stay out of your way

E: Hold me... Stop touching me!

The highlight of my day so far was probably the hour I spent with our SpotBot trying to clean red Jello vomit out of our carpets. (Note to self: Next time, limit sick kids to color-free liquids, no matter how convincing their “my tummy’s all better” routine is.)

Saint Gail arrived tonight and at this point, the kids are outnumbered. I have a bathrobe and a bottle of Purel. I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Bedtime Shenanigans

M: Okay, Evan time to go into your bedroom.

E: It’s too dark! I can’t see anything! I can’t see my Toofies. I need to see my Toofies!

M: Okay, I’ll turn your light on. There. Now, get into bed and I’m going to turn the light off. Let’s pray…

E: You need to start my music! Daddy always starts my music before he prays!

M: Well, I’m Mommy and I don’t start the music before we pray.

E: You have to!

M: I’m the Mommy and I get to decide. No music yet. Let’s pray…

E: I have a secret to tell Jesus.

M: Okay, go ahead…

E: I went to the doctor’s office today. It was so much fun. She had a truck. I REALLY liked that truck. Thank you for that truck!

M: Was that your secret?

E: Yep, let’s pray together now…

M: (Going through our evening prayer)

E: You forgot to pray for Sophie! Let’s pray for Sophie…

M: Okay…

E: Nonna is in Iowa? She just poofed right over there in her car? Poof! There’s Nonna! Poof! There’s her computer! All her friends said, “Nonna, we missed you thanks for poofing back to Iowa!”?

M: That’s right honey. Let’s finish our prayer… Amen. Alright, I’ll start your music now. Goodnight, sweetheart!

E: Look! I have a blanket mustache! I just pulled it up over my mouth, it’s a blanket mustache!

M: That’s funny Evan. Okay, goodnight. I love you. I’ll see you in the morning.

E: (through the blanket) Goodnight Mommy! I wuv you!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Celebrating a Year

We celebrated Lauren's 1st birthday this weekend. We had a great time with our family. I can't believe it has been a year already! Lauren is such a sweet blessing in our lives. Here are a few pictures....

Lauren's Birthday Cake

Opening presents...

A little sibling meltdown...

and a recovery...

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl!

Monday, June 28, 2010

Perhaps not my finest parenting moment...

We are thrilled with Evan's preschool program. We like the facility and the caring teachers and staff. We thought three things set it apart from other programs we considered. First, they have a solid learning curriculum. Second, they take the children on field trips regularly. Third, they offer sports and swimming classes during the day. As I said, we're thrilled with the program.

But, if there is a downside to such a well run program, it is that we constantly have a list of things to remember for the school. Have I paid for the field trip? Is today Spirit Friday? Does Evan have swimming lessons today? Is today Water Friday? I'm not complaining, this is simply context.

So, a few weeks ago the theme for his class was cereal. Each child was supposed to bring in a box of their favorite cereal. Honestly, Evan doesn't really each much cereal and he doesn't really have a favorite yet. As we were walking out the door in the morning, I remembered that Evan needed to bring in the box of cereal. I checked our pantry and there was one lone box of cereal on the shelf. All Bran. Evan reminded me that we needed cereal and I told him we only had All Bran. He said "All Bran? I LOVE All Bran!" Now he's never had All Bran. He has no idea whether he loves it or not. I offered that I could pick up another box and drop it off at lunch, but he insisted that he LOVED All Bran. So, I grabbed the box and we left.

When we got to school, he marched into his classroom, gleaming, carrying his box of All Bran. I was a little embarassed, but I was glad to have one less item on my to-do list. As the week went by, we got updates about cereal week....

Show and Tell: "I just wuv All Bran. It's de-li-cious. It's brown.. and crunchy... I wuv All Bran!"

Art Project: Crushed All Bran glued to construction paper. Want to guess what crushed All Bran looks like on construction paper? Not pretty.

Cereal Party: All of the children in the class got to try Evan's FAVORITE cereal. According to the teachers it was one of the more popular cereals at the party. Well, that, or they knew I was swamped and wanted me to feel better about my maternal shortcomings.

So, here's the kicker. A few weeks after cereal week, I saw the special cereal week craft project on display outside of the classroom. All along the wall were pictures of the children on the cover of their favorite cereal boxes. Froot Loops, Cheerios, Fruity Pebbles, Wheaties, Apple Jacks... And then there was this:

My son on a box of All Bran. The maternal misstep that JUST WON'T DIE. I doubt he will forgive me for this if he finds this blog post in 10 years. I would like to be a perfect mother. But honestly, I am more likely the mother who sends her son to school with a box of All Bran. And when I saw this, I laughed. Hard.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Like a pancake...

Evan and Daddy during Evan's bath tonight:

D: Evan, now that it's light out longer you could stay up a little later and play. Would you like that?


D: But, there is one thing you have to do. If you stay up later, you can't take a bath in our bathroom, you need to take a shower in your bathroom. Could you do that?

E: (Stares at D for about 20 seconds)

D: Evan? Could you do that?

E: I'm going to stand on you and squish you flat.

D: What?

E: I'm going to stand on you and squish you flat!

D: What do you think about the shower?

E: No.

Saturday, March 06, 2010

Breakfast Bits

M: (Feeding Lauren)

E: Mommy! I want to feed him!

M: Feed her?

E: Yes! Feed him. I want to do it ALL BY MYSELF!

M: Okay. You have to be very gentle and careful.

E: Here comes the car... Open the garage!

M: Did you just say "here comes the car, open the garage?"

E: Yes!

M: Where did you hear that?

E: Olivia.

M: Okay.

L: (Chewing on a spoon)

E: I don't go to school anymore.

M: You still go to school, but today is Saturday.

E: You get married on Saturday.

M: What? Who gets married on Saturday?

E: YOU! You get married on Saturday!

L: (chewing on a toy hammer)

E: Let's go to Farmville! When I grow up, I'm going to be a farmer! You can be a farmer when you grow up too!

L: (chewing on a toy wrench)

M: Honey, I'm already grown up and I don't think I'm a farmer.

E: I want FIVE Baby Laurens!

M: Five? What would you do with five Baby Laurens?

E: I would hug them and kiss them and say kootchie kootchie koo!

L: (grinning from ear to ear)

We are heading to the zoo today. I'm pretty sure these monkeys will fit in just fine.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

He's fwee!

Evan turned "fwee" and we threw a party for him over the weekend. We had a Construction theme.

My sister (who is far more talented than I) made a dump truck cake. You know what was most impressive about the cake? When Evan saw it, he knew right away that it was a dump truck. If I had made the cake... well... I'm just glad that Kristin was there.

We made personalized hard hats for all the guests, including the adults. They were good sports and actually wore them. Now, I'll be a good sport and not post the pictures of them wearing the hats.

Even Lauren got into the action...

If the state of my living room is any indication, I would say everyone had a great time...

Happy Birthday Evan!

Monday, January 18, 2010

E: What kind of yogurt am I eating?

M: Strawberry Shortcake

E: I like it!

M: You know, when I was a little girl I had a Strawberry Shortcake doll.

E: What is a doll?

M: It’s a toy that looks like a baby or a little girl.

E: You ate your doll!?!?

M: No. I think we lost something in translation here….

Monday, January 11, 2010

The One where Carolyn is Emotionally Distraught over Fictional Characters….

If you were a fan of the TV show Friends, you might remember that all of the episode titles followed the same format….

The One where Phoebe Runs
The One with Ross’s Teeth
The One with All the Thanksgivings
My personal favorite: The One where Phoebe Hates Pottery Barn

So, in keeping with this format, this blog post is The One where Carolyn is Emotionally Distraught over Fictional Characters.

The only way I can read books for leisure these days is to listen to them on CD during my commute. So, I got a library card two years ago and I check out books on CD. Some of the books are challenging and thought provoking, but many of them are just fun fiction. Last year, I went through the entire Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich. Towards the end of the year, I listened to the book Three Weeks with My Brother by Nicholas Sparks. You might recognize him as the author of The Notebook. Anyway, I loved Three Weeks with My Brother and decided to listen to some of his other books. So, I listened to True Believer and the sequel At First Sight. I finished At First Sight this weekend and I am seriously saddened by some of the events in the book. *spoiler alert* I cried when I heard the ending of the book and my heart continues to ache when I think about it now.

I guess it is a sign of a good book, but I can’t help but think it is also a sign of a manipulative author. I downloaded another Nicholas Sparks book on my iPod, but I can’t decide if I’m ready to go back for more just yet. I’m a sucker for happy endings, regardless of how implausible they may be. My real life isn’t overly drama-filled, and for that I am grateful. I’m just not sure that I want to add drama via my leisure reading selections.

Any advice cyber-friends? Are you laughing at my misery? Has anyone else been impacted like this by works of fiction?